the man who lost...chapter 1 page 4

Friday,July 23,2004
3:00 p.m.
The Tragedy

“What the.....How could this happened to you?” Belinda asked me in shock when she picked me up at The Parade. “Who did this to you?Why?”,she continued as I got into the car.I didn’t answer her as I was still baring the pain.“Bob,you hear me or not?I’m asking you a question,damn it.”She kept asking as she noticed I wasn’t responding. “Please,just drive the car, I’ll tell you later,ok.”I replied in a deep voice. “Dear,look,I don’t know what the hell has just happened to you and how could it be happened,but what I want you to do is,stop doing stupid things,ok,just stop,alright.You’ve been doing crazy stuffs,put yourself in mess,taking risks,hell,I don’t know how to put it,but,just look at you.Is this what you’ve been looking for? C’mon dear, you’re a lot better than this.I know you are.We used to be together back then,so don’t tell me I don’t know you.What should I tell Amirul if he knew about this?Damn it!!”She expressed. “Ok,I’m sorry,but this doesn’t have anything to do with you,or Amirul,this is just about me and those jerks.And thanks for coming over.”I replied. “Is that all you could say?Is that an explaination?What kind of explaination was that?So,that’s all,huh?” “It’s not like that,as I said,I’ll explain to you later,ok,please,just drive.I can’t stand the pain anymore,I need to wash this blood in my nose,ok.” “Fair enough, suit yourself.” She responded synicaly.The road was quite congested as we enter the downtown area.I was still trying to rub the blood off of my nose and the swells were still aching.The traffic became worse.I was thinking about the incident that has just happened when she suddenly yelled, “Stupid idiot! Don’t you know how to drive better?”I was shocked with that. “C’mon,just be patient,ok.You don’t have to rush.You know the traffic is always like this at this time,don’t you?”I tried to calm her down even I knew she did that because there was something in her mind she wanted to say, and it had something connected to me. “Don’t tell me what to do,even you yourself don’t know what the hell you are doing.”There it was.I knew it because she used to be my wife three years ago. “Ok, stop moaning alright.I know this is my fault.I know this is my mistake.So,please,could you just drop it for a while and just focus on the road?I told you right,I’ll explain to you later in the office.Blame me all you want,but,please,just drop it for a while.”I replied,still in a deep tone as my jaw can’t really moved well. “Same old,same old.You are always like this,of course that was your mistake,no doubt,but you’ve never learn.You never learn the fact that you got to change to be a better man,or at least,not being stupid by doing stupid things.I can see it from the bruises, the swellings,the blood in your nose, you have just ruined your life again.I don’t know what or how, but you’ve just ruined it.The bruises never appeared because of something good that you’ve done,trust me,I’m not stupid.I don’t mean to belabour the obvious,but why did you always put your head so far up your ass? When are you gonna learn, Bob,when?”she continued, “Dear,you are thirty one years old,is this what you’ve been expecting in your life?Continue doing stupid things,under estimating yourself, patronising your life?Is that all you’ve been searching,is that all you want to achieve? C’mon,Bob,you were better back then,how can you turn out to be like this? A man who loves himself so much,a man who thinks before doing anything,but look at you, just look at you now.Back then,you made me so proud of you,the way you think,the way you behave, the way you taking care of things,but again,look at you now.If only Amirul was here, what would he be thinking?He will for sure cry before you and ask you what happened,and just how will you answer him?Just by saying this was all your mistake and got nothing to do with him?You have a son,damn it,you have a kid who needs you so much,who loves you so much, who looks up on you.Is this because of those stupid girlfriends of yours,huh,isn’t it?What did I tell you Bob,what did I tell you?I told you,those girls just look you as their goldmines.They just want your money,not your love,not your kindness,hell,by any chance,they just want you in those happy hours only.You don’t realised that,do you?” “Linda..”
“No,I’m not finished yet.” “Stop it...!It’s not because of them,they have got nothing to do with it.Well,ok,I admit,it was stupid,but,please,could we just drop it for a while?” I tried to end her preaches. “No,I won’t drop it,I’m not letting it go,you just have to listen to me.Now we’re stuck in the traffic,so you’ve got no chance in hell to avoid it.”She continued in high pitch and I just stunned. “I don’t wanna know anything about your love life,whom you have sex with or who you’re seeing now,but remember one thing,becareful what you wish for Bob,it might hurt you again.I know how mess up you would be if you’re disappointed,I still remember when you broke up with Shee,or should I say,when she ditched you,you looked like you’re in hell,not to mention our seperation.I know you very well,Bob,I know things about you that even your mother doesn’t know.”My mouth still zipped.I didn’t intend to say anything,I was just hoping she’d shut the hell up.“Look,where are they now?Why don’t you call them and ask them to help you now? Why must you call me?If you say that they’ve got nothing to do with it,so ask them for help.If they really love you,they’ll help you.Let them see and know what had happened to you. This is the time if you want to know them better,which side are they,they love you or they love you not, or they’re just being with you because of what you possesed.Bob,as far as I’m concern, I’m the only one who you could trust and it’s proven.Don’t you deny it.I’m always there when you need my help,and yes of course,you’re there too when I need you.But,that’s not the case now,what I was trying to say is,you have to realised things,everything.Be the man you used to be,be the man I used to know.” “Linda,I’m sorry,I know,I wasn’t suppose to be like this,but just to clear the air,just let me handle this myself,and again thanks for reminding me.”. “So,what happened,actually?Why were those jerks doing this to you?”,she asked me as she was really insisted to know. “I’ve lost in gambling,twenty five large.So,I loaned money from them to pay my debts to the gambling center,but I couldn’t repay them back.I postponed day by day,and it pissed them off.Then,this morning,they just can’t stand it anymore,I guess,so,that’s it.I wasn’t running away,and I wasn’t going to,I thought maybe I could ask them for more time,but,they seemed like they have had it with me.So,along came these bruises and swells.”I explained at last. “Damn it,Bob,damn it.You just don’t know when to quit,do you?You still gamble,huh,just what the hell are you thinking? You have everything,Bob,everything,money,good job,pretty much everything others just can dream of having.Just where the living hell has your money gone? Why don’t you just pay those rascals? Don’t tell me 25k is fat enough for you to pay back!!” “No,right now,to be frank,I don’t have it,and yes,it’s pretty fat for me.Last week,I didn’t win either,I lost almost hundred grand. Then,I’ve got some complications with my account,I can’t clear my cheques,till today,that cheques still floated.And then,my O.D. still unapproved.I don’t know what the hell they’re doing, but just let me handle it ok,just let me take care of it.I won’t involve you or drag you into this mess, you have done enough for me over the years,so I won’t ask for it anymore.I don’t want Vincent to get angry with it.He is a good man,I’ll feel bad if I drag you into this mess.I’ll figure out the way to settle this,ok,trust me,I know what I’m doing.I know the stakes.Ok,I’ll make some phone calls.I’ll manage the way to solve the problems,ok.Just drive me back to the office,and I’ll start from there.” I explained to her pretty much every single thing,I guess. “So,that’s it,huh?I don’t know what else to say,Bob,just don’t do those stupid things anymore,please,you have a son, damn it,you’re damn well old enough too to be doing it.Of course,you won’t drag me into this and Vincent as well,but,what should I tell him?”She asked me. “Just keep it to yourself, and if he insist to know,tell him to ask me himself,ok.”I replied.We came out from the traffic at about 4 after almost two hours we’ve been caught in it.There was no single word came out from Belinda,and so was I.We kept our mouth shut,as we passed along the main road heading to our office.Then,her cell rang, “I’m driving my back to the office from picking up Bob.I don’t know, you ask him yourself.Where are you dear?...Ok,see you.”I knew that was Vincent,her boyfriend. Suddenly,something came across as I was looking outside to the street.I’ve got to be... disappear!!!


to be continued.....