just a thought...

..there were times when people came to me and asked me what I think about life,how I lived through the devastation it caused me most of the time.Well,I guess I just have to be strong though.I mean,not just strong to facing it but strong enough to live with it.And for me,it is typical.Typical because if you planting bad seeds,all you going to get is bad fruit.If you do bad deeds,well...what goes around,comes around.We just have to figure it out,learn about it,teach ourselves a lesson, keep on reminding ourselves how much pain we can bring to ourselves and entirely to our lives because of that,and the worst part is,we could end up dying,dying inside out if you know what I mean.I’d battled constantly,each and every single day,fighting ,striving, struggling,making the right choices,making the right moves,not to mention repenting and remorsing those stupid things I’ve done and gone through all my life.Would that be enough?Of course,they don’t.You have to go extra miles in order to get things done,in order to get things come to your way,in order to get things right.Don’t do it some of the time but all the time.It’s ok to make mistakes,it’s the best way to learn to be better.But in my case,I made mistakes all the time. It’s not that I didn’t learn from it,but I just can’t get the real answer,and I am still searching. Searching for the right answer,I suppose.Searching until there’s nothing left for me to further on.

I figure out something though,through out this life I’ve been living.Anything you do,whatever it is the situation,be it as a man or a woman,as a human being,you just can’t stop searching. Searching the way to be good in anything,searching the right way to be better every day,searching the best step for the next best step to take,searching and keep on searching.That’s what I was doing all these time and still am.Even people didn’t see anything good from it, especially those who had been with me.“Bob,you just don’t seem to make things right,all you do was creating messes.”I’d always hear that word.But there I was and here I am,still standing with all I’ve got.Then,another thing is to trust.Although trust doesn’t come that easy to me,but there are times you just need to trust someone and thus, you should start with someone....

money matters...

it has been 19 days since we got up in the morning of 1st february...and it's been 50 days we're in 2010...any differents with ur life so far...?any good progresses?any good moments?i started my january with a project with a friend of mine,kabir bahtia,a good movie director...a story about the sandakan death march during the japanese invasion in sabah during the ww2 in 1943...it was a good story tho,a damn good one...the sets were amazing,the props were so interestingyet so challenging during getting it prepared...but unfortunately,for me,i couldnt finish the job...well,i got some major resentments with my preparations day in day out...felt like i couldnt deliver my work day by day,i couldnt perform well in my tasks...so i pulled out...but i pulled out in a civilized way,not just walk away like that without telling anyone...i got myself a replacement,i handed over the tasks thoroughly....but still,it was a great experience.one of the best project i did so far...so coming in future is 2 films...but not sure which one i will be involved...hopefully i could involve in both n finish it...ha ha...but i'll make sure i am well prepared this time around...see ya...